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Jokes for
March 31, 2008
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma
a
question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a
trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a
grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and
asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you
know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you,
Mr. Williams. I've
known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, 'Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He can't build a
normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one
of the worst in the
entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different
women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and,
in a very quiet
voice, said, 'If either of
you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both
to the electric
chair.
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